Our principles

A number of principles and philosophies strongly influence the work of No To Violence. Please click on the links below for more information.

Men's violence in unacceptable

There are many behaviours that men choose to use to control and disempower women and children. Although only physical, sexual and some forms of racist violence are illegal and attract criminal sanctions, other forms of violence can also have equally serious and lasting effects on a person's sense of self, wellbeing and autonomy. Furthermore, they breach people's rights to health, safety, freedom of expression and autonomy.

Men might make a range of excuses for their use of violent and controlling behaviours — none of them are unacceptable.

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We are pro-feminist

All of NTV's work must be located within an awareness of the social context of male family violence.

Male family violence is primarily used by men to control women and children. It is an attempt to exert power and control: the man using violence does so to impose his will regardless of the wishes of the other person.

Although many people (especially women) have been working for change for decades, most Australians' social histories have been of male dominance in all spheres of public life. This has both facilitated, and been reinforced by, male dominance in the family. Gender socialisation of girls and boys to accept and continue gender roles has further reinforced male dominance. In most cultural contexts in Australia, men have relatively more power than women or children and this frequently means they also wield power over women and children.

In these social contexts, family violence has been largely hidden and private and surrounded by shame and secrecy. This is still often the case. Male family violence is often condoned and colluded with, and there is widespread denial of its nature, extent, and effects. Those who experience it often feel powerless to stop it. Often, people who witness it or know about it are reluctant to intervene in others' relationships. Historically, the response of the police and the legal system has further disempowered women by failing to offer them the equal protection of the law. Whilst this situation is slowly changing, the legacy of denying, colluding with and reinforcing men's violence will be much slower to shift. This will require continuing and concerted efforts.

Whilst men must be held responsible and accountable for their own violence, we must acknowledge that male violence is embedded in the structures and collective unconscious of Australia's patriarchal society. In practice, this means that men must be encouraged to reflect upon how they can '… participate in this system differently so that [they] can help to change not only [themselves] but the world that shapes [them] … to take [their] share of responsibility for the patriarchal legacy that we've all inherited'.*

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Individual change is not enough

Male family violence must be addressed in the context of gender inequality between men and women.

We place work with individual men to change their violent behaviour in the context of other political, legal and social responses aimed at ending gender-based inequalities and stopping violence against women and children. The long-term prevention of male family violence requires a clear and consistent message from all individuals and social providers that:

  • all forms of violence are unacceptable and will not be tolerated
  • ending gender-based inequalities is integral to preventing male family violence. 

We actively support the ongoing work of the many people and organisations working for change at all levels. This includes work to challenge and change gender socialisation, to redistribute economic power, to challenge institutionalised violence, to provide services to support and empower women and children, to improve community awareness about family violence, and to improve the response to family violence on the part of health and community support providers, and the police and legal system.

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We are accountable to women and children

Work with individual men needs to be grounded in the principle of accountability to women and children.

NTV and its members are accountable for:

  • expecting men to take responsibility for their own behaviour at all times
  • never openly or covertly locating responsibility for violence with those who have experienced it
  • ensuring that our practices are as safe as possible
  • attending to the support, referral and information needs of women and children
  • maintaining an awareness of issues of the use of power and control at all times, including the differences in power, based on gender, class, culture and race. 

NTV believes that it is vital for Men's Behaviour Change Programs and other male family violence services to consider the safety and support needs of women and children. Even if a woman's partner does not change, these programs can still support her in her journey towards safety, healing and empowerment. Supporting men to change is one of a number of ways that family violence services can work towards the safety of women and children.

Furthermore, as an advocacy organisation, NTV works closely with women's services, police, policy makers and other service providers towards better service integration, improved legal responses and more effective support for women, children and men. There have been significant developments at a state level in recent years and we are committed to continuing these achievements in the years ahead.

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Men need help to change

Working with men who use violent and controlling behaviours is one of many valid ways to contribute to preventing and minimising the harm of male family violence. There is a significant body of evidence to support the proposition that some men can change their attitudes and behaviour and use non-violent ways of relating.#

Although men who use violence do so to gain power and control with damaging effects on others, they also report a range of negative effects for themselves. These include shame, guilt, hating themselves for what they do and frustration at not having the kinds of relationships with their partners and families they would like to have. Often they feel powerless themselves and use violence to try to increase their sense of power. Although it involves giving up the use of power and control and the privileges of domination, men also have a lot to gain from learning to have equal, open and non-violent relationships.

In order for men to become and remain non-violent, they need to change on a number of levels: in their thinking, feeling, attitudes and behaviour. They also need to learn new skills, and to practise and integrate these in their lives. Men in this process need support to consolidate and maintain change. The change process is gradual and takes time.

In the men's behaviour change process, men must be invited to explore how they use violent and controlling behaviour, and what affect their behaviour has on others. Men's Behaviour Change Programs need to educate men about the different types of violence, the use of power and control, and the ramifications of these. They also need to establish clear boundaries about what attitudes and behaviour are acceptable.

In the process, men need support and encouragement to explore their behaviour and learn unfamiliar — and sometimes confronting — new ways of knowing themselves and others. This is best provided in the context an invitational approach to behaviour change, which simultaneously:

  • reminds men that there are real and meaningful reasons for them work towards change
  • focuses on men's potential to be better men, partners and fathers, and
  • continually focuses on the need for men take responsibility for their behaviour.

Some male family violence prevention workers believe that men will have more difficulty making lasting changes if they do not also have an awareness of the feeling states before, during, and after their use of violent and controlling behaviour. If men become aware of both their feeling states and attitudes, then they have more chance of changing both their attitudes and behaviour, and so increasing the chances of establishing and maintaining safety.

Certainly, men must be able to recognise that feelings are different from behaviours and that there are achievable and viable alternatives to using violent and controlling behaviours. That is, they need to learn safe, respectful ways to respond to their feelings.

Not all men who participate in a Men's Behaviour Change Program change. A significant number do not change at all, or make only moderate changes. Hence while encouraging and supporting men to change is a prime goal, programs also work towards the safety of women and children by providing partner / ex-partner contact. The support provided to women can be valuable in helping them to maximise their own safety and that of their children, and in their journeys towards empowerment and healing.

Furthermore, because male family violence is not simply a product of individual men's mistaken thinking, it is important that service providers, and ultimately male participants, continually advocate for non-violence and an end to gendered and other forms of inequality. Men's Behaviour Change Programs should occur alongside a range of other activities aimed at male family violence prevention. Positive examples are public events, public advocacy and solidarity with women around issues such as childcare, gendered distribution of wealth, women's health or changes to sentencing laws.

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* Research and Education Unit on Gendered Violence, School of Social Work and Social Policy, University of South Australia, 2004, A Comparative Assessment of Good Practice in Programs for Men Who Use Violence Against Female partners, Partnerships Against Domestic Violence, Office of the Status of Women, Commonwealth Government of Australia, Canberra, p. 57.

# Gondolf, E, 1997, ''Batterers' programs: What we know and need to know', Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 12:83-98; Gondolf, E, 2002, Batterer Intervention Systems: Issues, Outcomes and Recommendations, Sage, Thousand Oaks, California.