The revolution is coming … one conversation at a time

Phil Barker reflects on what can we do – all of us – to start the change in attitudes needed to stop violence against women.

Read more.

Pink and blue – a matter of life and death

Phil Barker reflects on the dangers of adhering to gender stereotypes and what it means to “be a man”.

Read more.

On Father’s Day, say no to violence and yes to love

Phil Barker reflects on his own experience of fatherhood, how the performance of manhood can stand in the way of great parenting and its contribution to the gendered nature of violence.

Read more.

Hard Work and Hope: Gaining Perspective on Engaging with Men

Phil Barker explores the personal impact of his immersion with No to Violence and the realisation of why we must continue to engage with men who use violence.

Read more.

Inside the Phone Room

We’ll take you inside the phone room of the Men’s Referral Service to give you the inside perspective from a trained Telephone Referral Worker (TRW). Our TRWs speak to hundreds of men a week that use family violence and experience family violence.

A woman’s experience as a phone counsellor at the Men’s Referral Service
I have been a telephone counsellor at Men’s Referral Service (MRS) for 18 months. Outside of MRS, I am sometimes asked how, as a woman, I can work with men who use family violence.

A day in the life of a men’s family violence worker in the family law courts
It’s 8am on a Wednesday and the floors of the Melbourne Federal Circuit Court are already filled with hurried footsteps and quiet pockets of conversation.

Violence against women is a men’s issue
While the overwhelming majority of family violence consists of (heterosexual) men using violence toward current or former women partners, it is common to hear disclaimers that the majority of men do not use violent behaviour.

Anger Management is not a Men’s Behaviour Change Program
Through the Men’s Referral Service we speak to a lot of men in a wide variety of family and relationship contexts with a range of challenges and issues that arise.

Power, Privilege and Defensiveness: The Blind Spots In How We Understand Family Violence
Over the last five years as a family violence counsellor, I’ve had a lot of conversations about violence.

Entitlement and Status: A perfect storm
Family violence dynamics within religious communities has been the focus of much public discussion, following the ABC’s investigation on the issue.

How violence on field opens the door to violence off field
Chris Judd, AFL legend and man of good character, wrote a comment piece for The Age in the wake of a number of incidents of physical violence on the football field that were well outside the realm of a contact sport.

Is saying you’re a nice guy getting in the way of being a nice guy?
On the phone with men who use forms of family violence, I consistently hear them tell me they are “not a bad guy” and that they are “a nice guy”. At times…

Working with men who have experienced family violence
Working as a family violence telephone operator, a portion of the work I do is responding to referrals for men who have experienced forms of family violence from a family member or partner. Quite often, I’m asked…

Taking Responsibility: the barriers we put up that get in the way of the relationships we want
Working as a family violence telephone operator I speak with hundreds of men from many different relationship and life contexts. When I speak to men that have chosen to behave in a way that causes problems…

5 lessons learned from speaking with men who use family violence
For the past few years I’ve worked as a family violence counsellor, speaking with hundreds of men from all walks of life who have used many different forms of abusive, controlling behaviours toward partners…